Deareliz Anahi Moody’s Garden of Love traces a five-year journey shaped by faith, mental health, and the search for self-worth. The book weaves poetry, prose, and diary entries drawn from journals kept during her teenage years, a period she once believed she would not survive. Writing from the perspective of both her younger self and the woman she is becoming, Moody centers the work on growth rather than recovery, summed up in her line, “I am not just healing. I am blooming.”
In this interview, she reflects on the moments that led her to share these pages publicly, how she found her voice beyond the page, and what she hopes readers—especially those who never thought they would make it—carry with them when the book ends.
You write, “I am not just healing. I am blooming.” What moment or realization led you to frame your journey in those terms?
Growing up, I have always loved being outdoors, engulfed in the beautiful, silent transformation of nature. So, when I think of my journey, I reflect deeply on the fact that life itself can mirror the simplicity of the vast majority of life forms. We all have similar matter, made up of atoms. We grow, endure change no matter the form, and transform into something beautiful every single time. Flowers bloom differently every year. The idea of always staying the same—don’t get me wrong, consistency never hurts, but there will always be different or past versions of yourself.
Change is inevitable; it happens differently and an infinite number of times. I believe God is the most creative artist there is; he made everything, including you. Seasons change, and so do we. Somewhere along the journey, you’ll see the beauty in everything: the mistakes, trials, glimpses of peace, and hope. Who I am today was hard-earned; the thirteen-year-old me never thought I would make it past fifteen. I realized that, as a kid, I had given myself a time limit; I didn’t have faith that things would change. When I had walked through the doors of my quinceañera, surrounded by my village, beaming with love. No one had understood that I never thought I’d live to experience the day.
Garden of Love spans five years of your life. What made you decide this was the right time to share that period publicly?
Truthfully, sharing this very personal and vulnerable piece of my life was hard. I’ve written my deepest thoughts and tears into this. I knew that someday all those journal entries and poetry would mean something not only to me but also to those who decide to read Garden of Love. Recently my strength to publish this piece was overpowered by the recent tragedy of losing one of my closest friends. Don’t get me wrong, I had already finished writing, but the overwhelming fear of judgment heavily delayed the publication. Receiving that call shattered my heart once again, knowing that I’ll have to come to terms with not having my friend and him going through the same battle that I’ve endured myself.
I was able to persevere with their guidance and love; it hardened me. I had to remember why I started this journey: for my own hope of growth and change. The fear was swept away; maybe if I share the deepest inner parts that few have seen, someone can relate and learn to appreciate the journey and choose to experience and live this life.
The book moves through poetry, prose, and diary entries. How did you decide which form best served each part of your story?
I have always loved psychology, and something that has fascinated me is the different styles of handwriting and the science behind it. This touch of creativity lies in the alignment and font of the format in each individual piece. I have always been intrigued by the minor details; I wanted to convey emotions with not only words but also the visual placements that you get with each piece. Writing is a craft that sadly few understand. I’ve been able to tailor my style of writing with full expression and allow every line to linger with my dedication and love for this art.
I wanted this journey to be understood from start to finish, even if I had to create words for a time I felt like I couldn’t. This book has been curated for the purpose of understanding that you may not always be able to see past the facade that sometimes gets displayed. Nobody truly wants to be seen in these deep and personal thoughts. This originated from my diary; not even some of my closest friends know this version of my life, especially on a month-by-month basis.
You trace a shift “from silence to voice.” What did finding your voice look like in real life, beyond the page?
Seeing as this is a summarized and tailored version of finding my voice, it started with journaling. As someone who used to be extremely anxious about sharing my deep perspective or thoughts. It allowed me to cope and compartmentalize everything I’ve endured and experienced. When I finally found the comfort of sharing my experience, I was able to put myself in therapy; it truly allowed me to not only find my voice but also to heal parts of me that felt impossible. Stitches can still break if not treated properly. Mental health will always be uphill and downhill, as is life. It’s about finding outlets to break these habits. Learning how to identify why and how you react to certain situations so that you can pull yourself out is important. Pain isn’t always visible. It takes hard work and dedication to overcome, and even then, sometimes you find yourself in the same state, but at least you know ways on how to get yourself out of it. I was so comfortable being alone that I didn’t know how to speak up about these things.
Faith is a constant presence in the book, especially the idea that “God’s love never left.” How did your understanding of God change during these years?
Understanding duality—yes, bad things happen, but so do good things. It’d be inhuman to question why certain things are happening. These five years really tested my faith, relationship, and understanding of who he is and what it meant. You have to make the choice of belief, to see all of your flaws and take accountability for who you are. Sometimes your reflection is the scary part—the ways you’ve sinned. You will always have doubt, and your fears will overcome everything because you haven’t placed faith not only within yourself but also in someone who loves unconditionally. You cannot unconditionally love yourself or someone if you haven’t chosen to feel it. At times, I can admit I lost my faith; God didn’t leave me, I left him.
You address topics such as mental health, identity, and self-worth. What responsibility did you feel when writing about experiences many readers may share?
I wanted to share my journey to help others like me, struggling with mental health and self-love. These are very important, especially during this developmental phase. The transition between 15 and 20 in women is a challenging time; most women experience body image issues, depression, and anxiety. Navigating the pressures of adulthood and societal views, one out of seven women experiences this globally. If I can reach just one person and spark change and give them hope that it gets better, then everything I’ve endured was worth every tear.
The book speaks to both a younger version of yourself and the woman you are now. How do you see those two selves in conversation today?
“Dear Eliz” was written not only to my inner child but also to my future daughter. That specific journal prompt allowed me to give comfort to myself. As a kid, no one expects to go through these things or have the necessary tools to face these problems. My parents didn’t know how to comfort me when I experienced losing a friend to suicide for the first time; mental health isn’t talked about, especially in Black and Hispanic communities. I had to learn these skills for myself because I know how it feels to lose someone to themself. Also, being undiagnosed for neurodivergency played a huge factor in that as well. When I reflect on who I am today and the little girl I was, I imagine myself hugging her. I felt alone and was disappointed in myself because I didn’t know exactly who I was, and learning to love who I am and accept the fact that I’ll never be perfect is my greatest accomplishment.
You write about unanswered prayers and surrender. How did learning to sit with unanswered questions shape your healing?
Sometimes you won’t ever understand the harm that was done, and that’s okay. Your intentions could’ve been pure, and the result was a hard lesson learned. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life. Sometimes what you pray for isn’t good for your own well-being. Rejection is redirection. You may never understand what God was protecting you from.
The book is described as being for “the girl who never thought she’d make it.” What do you hope that the reader feels when she finishes the last page?
There’s hope for change; you just have to believe you can make it happen. That she’ll trust that whatever happens, she is loved, no matter the form. To be encouraged to fight for herself on this journey.
Looking back at the process of writing Garden of Love, what did it give you that you did not expect when you began?
Hope for my future.
