Míchelle Annalèise Coles, an acclaimed author and relationship coach, is challenging societal norms with her forthcoming book, Unapologetically You. In this empowering guide, Coles blends personal anecdotes with actionable strategies to help readers embrace their authentic selves in life and love. We sat down with Coles to discuss her inspiration for the book, the transformative power of self-acceptance, and how her work aims to redefine modern relationships.

What inspired you to write Unapologetically You, and what makes it unique compared to other books on self-love and relationships?

I wrote Unapologetically You for the woman who’s tired of apologizing for taking up space, especially Black women who carry so much but are often overlooked. This book isn’t about quick fixes; it’s about rediscovering your magic, honoring your roots, and embracing every part of who you are. It’s bold, unfiltered, and deeply personal—something that feels like a sister-friend walking you home to yourself.

The title suggests a bold embrace of self-love. Can you share what “unapologetically you” means in practice for individuals struggling with self-doubt or insecurity?

Being unapologetically you is a daily act of rebellion against a world that tells you to shrink. It’s showing up as yourself, even when you’re scared, and reminding yourself that you’re enough—exactly as you are. For anyone struggling, it’s about reclaiming your voice, celebrating your skin, your culture, your story, and letting go of perfection.  

What is people’s most common misconception about self-love, and how does your book address it?

The biggest myth is that self-love is a destination, like one day you’ll “arrive.” In reality, it’s a journey—a daily practice. People also confuse it with selfishness, but self-love isn’t just about you; it’s about how you pour into others from a full cup. My book helps readers unlearn those myths and see self-love as a powerful, grounding force that strengthens relationships, heals generational wounds, and inspires a more authentic life.  

In your book, do you focus more on personal transformation, improving relationships, or both? How are they interconnected?

Both are deeply woven together. Personal transformation is the foundation—when you heal yourself, you can love others more fully and with intention. My book helps readers see how self-love is the key to setting boundaries, communicating effectively, and creating relationships that thrive. It’s not about choosing one over the other but understanding that growth in one area fuels the other.

Can you give us a glimpse into one or two transformative practices or tools featured in Unapologetically You that readers can immediately apply to their lives?

One of my favorite tools is writing “love letters” to yourself—affirming who you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re headed. It’s healing to put pen to paper and celebrate yourself in that way. Another is what I call “sacred no’s”—learning to say no to things that drain you without guilt and reclaiming your time for what truly matters. These practices are small but life-changing.  

As a relationship expert, how do you help clients balance self-love with the demands of a relationship? Can these sometimes be in conflict?

Self-love and relationships can feel like a tug-of-war if you’re not grounded. I help clients find that balance by showing them how self-love strengthens their relationships. When you prioritize yourself, you communicate better, set healthier boundaries, and demand mutual respect. It’s never about choosing one over the other—it’s about weaving self-love into the fabric of your relationships so both thrive.  

What role does self-love play in navigating toxic relationships, and how do you empower individuals to set boundaries in these situations?

Self-love is your anchor in toxic relationships—it reminds you of your worth when someone tries to make you forget it. I empower people by teaching them to trust their instincts, set firm boundaries, and leave when necessary. Walking away isn’t failure; it’s liberation. My book offers practical tools for reclaiming your voice and creating a life that aligns with your highest self.  

How do you approach the idea of self-love in cultures or communities where self-sacrifice is deeply ingrained as a virtue?

In many cultures, especially Black communities, we’re taught to pour endlessly into others while leaving ourselves empty. I flip that narrative by showing how self-love is a form of resistance. It’s not abandoning your community—it’s ensuring you have the strength to keep lifting it. My book celebrates this balance, honoring our cultural values while encouraging us to choose ourselves without guilt.  

In your experience, what is the most common barrier to self-love, and how can people begin to overcome it?

Comparison is the thief of joy, and it’s the biggest barrier I see, especially with social media. We’re so busy measuring ourselves against others that we lose sight of our unique brilliance. Overcoming this starts with gratitude—focusing on what makes you, you. My book invites readers to shift their perspective, honor their journey, and find peace in their own lane.  

What do you hope readers will take away from Unapologetically You, and how do you envision it impacting their lives in the long term?

I hope readers feel seen, validated, and inspired to live louder. I want them to know their worth isn’t tied to their past, their mistakes, or anyone else’s opinions. Long-term, I see this book as a guide to help women break cycles, step into their power, and create lives rooted in love and authenticity. It’s a love letter to the soul.  

Míchelle Annalèise Coles is a relationship coach and founder of Annaleise Affirms LLC. She helps women embrace joy, set boundaries, and redefine success on their own terms. Learn more at www.annaleiseaffirms.com.